Priorities.

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck) 07/14/2018 at 22:59 • Filed to: Why do like this homeownership thing again? Thinkingemoji.png

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I was dismantling this crappy neglected vinyl shed. It was completely covered in ivy, which was then creeping up my atlas tree. I finally got to the base. As soon as I listed it up, about 20 bumblees appeared. I left my beer, which I immediately decided go back for.

No man left behind!!!

In addition, each crevice of each panel is occupied by some gigantic spider, and my face is burning from my usual summer allergies. Also my forearms are covered in hives.

... But I have beer!

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/14/2018 at 23:05

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One terrifying boi for your time. 3" legspan. Cellar spider. They’re good bois.

fhrblig > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/14/2018 at 23:10

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The bees just wanna bumble. They’re cool.  Don’t think I’ve seen that spider before though.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > fhrblig 07/14/2018 at 23:17

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Precisely. I have no intention of harming them. But holy shit, bumblees have one hell of a sting so I am very unsettled.

AestheticsInMotion > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/14/2018 at 23:17

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Helluva lot better than those thikk brown ones that dash around at 1,000,000 mph in a hard-to-decipher movement pattern

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > AestheticsInMotion 07/14/2018 at 23:18

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There's plenty of those, but I didn't want to traumatize anyone.

fhrblig > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/14/2018 at 23:21

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I saw one while walking the doge that was so big I was amazed that it could fly.  But it could. Very slowly.  I think I could hear it wheezing.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/14/2018 at 23:26

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Size of a handball

C62030 > fhrblig 07/14/2018 at 23:28

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Never thought I could relate to a bee.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/14/2018 at 23:29

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False black window, 1" legspan. As a friendly reminder, still a very very very bad bite

AestheticsInMotion > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/14/2018 at 23:30

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You’re a good man.

Try not to get eaten

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/14/2018 at 23:30

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Also my forearms are covered in hives.

Is th at where the bees came from?

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > fhrblig 07/14/2018 at 23:31

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Was probably a carpenter bee. Those things are y uuuuuge.

LOREM IPSUM > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/14/2018 at 23:35

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Now that you have demolished your shed, where do you plan to store your spiders an d bumble bees?

wkiernan > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/14/2018 at 23:46

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F u c k i n ’ b u m b l e b e e s . I h a t e t h o s e t h i n g s . W a s p s t i n g s h u r t w o r s e b u t w a s p s l e a v e y o u a l o n e i f y o u l e a v e t h e m a l o n e . B u t b u m b l e b e e s a r e m e a n , even w h e n y o u s t e p a w a y t h e y ’ l l f o l l o w y o u.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/14/2018 at 23:48

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Welp. The spider ball was even worse than I imagined.

Went to move it, or crush it. It was hard and rubbery. What the hell? Put my weight into it. It cracks open and about 15 long maggots ooze out.

Holy fuck fuck fuck fuck 

His Stigness > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/14/2018 at 23:48

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Nibbles > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/14/2018 at 23:51

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Jessica is  allergic to the sun. 

fhrblig > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/14/2018 at 23:59

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It was like a big marble with wings.

fhrblig > C62030 07/14/2018 at 23:59

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Me too.

smobgirl > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/15/2018 at 00:04

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I wish I wasn’t eating right now.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > smobgirl 07/15/2018 at 00:05

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Ill never be the same again.

[Sips beer]

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Nibbles 07/15/2018 at 00:13

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Is that the name of your wife, or is that a meme/reference that I don't understand?

MrDakka > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/15/2018 at 00:14

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Looks like you need the purifying touch of  thermite. Lots of thermite

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > smobgirl 07/15/2018 at 00:24

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Are you eating nachos?

Berang > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/15/2018 at 00:33

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I’ve always marveled at the fact bumble bees build their nests ON THE GROUND.

Berang > AestheticsInMotion 07/15/2018 at 00:38

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carpenter bees... they don’t sting though (well males don’t have a stinger)

Nibbles > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/15/2018 at 00:43

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That would be my wife, the name of a certain superhero, and the name of an Allman Brothers song. 

RPM esq. > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/15/2018 at 00:44

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Fuckity fuck fuck I may not be able to do the yard work I was planning for tomorrrow, uggghhhhh

Nibbles > Nibbles 07/15/2018 at 00:44

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I also may be wayy too drunk for oppo. 

smobgirl > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/15/2018 at 01:08

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No :(

punkgoose17 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/15/2018 at 01:51

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Dang I would of bug sprayed the shed then waited until tomorrow. That reminds me where is my spider spray?

Dogsatemypants > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/15/2018 at 02:01

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Scuttlebutt!

PS9 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/15/2018 at 04:23

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Sorry, everyone within 300 mi of Dr. Zoidberg. This is quite drastic, but surely you understand what was at stake .

Seven Footer > Nibbles 07/15/2018 at 05:29

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Not sure that's actually possible. 

Seven Footer > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/15/2018 at 05:31

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As long as you have beer you'll be fine... unless there's spiders. Then you're definitely going to die. 

Longtime Lurker > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/15/2018 at 05:33

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Thanks Dr. Zoidberg be cause of you tinezone shifted late night post I had nightmare that 2 spiders w ere s t uck to my hands and a bee was in my hair. This nightmare even  included touch and sound!

gettingoldercarguy > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/15/2018 at 08:57

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Cup of detergent and chlorine in an open glass container + plastic tarp.  Pl ace glass container nearby and cover area with tarp. Seal perimeter with rocks and wait.